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38. Overcoming Unhealthy Habits LONNIE: Welcome to Exploring the Word. We’re glad you’ve taken this opportunity to dig deeper into the wealth of wisdom in the Bible. JEANNIE: Today we’re going to take on perhaps our most practical topic to date: overcoming habits, dealing with problem behavior in your life. LONNIE: We get quite a few questions on this topic, and they come from people dealing with all kinds of issues. JEANNIE: This letter, for example, from a man who’s been struggling with pornography. He pleads, “I don’t want it.” And yet he keeps falling into this addiction. Another student, Alexander, asks, “How can I forgive?” He knows that’s what he needs to do, but it’s so hard to break through the anger and bitterness. And a woman named Cristy worries that she’s starting to use food as a means of fulfillment. “It’s a problem I need to work on,” she says. LONNIE: So many people find themselves in a losing battle with some destructive habit. JEANNIE: And they’re crying out for help. LONNIE: What are the biggest battles in your life? In your day-to-day, get-up-and-go-to-work life – what are your toughest struggles? May I hazard a guess? I imagine that your really big battles are not about fighting traffic or deadlines – though that's stressful sometimes. Your biggest struggles are not about getting ahead at work or managing your budget – though these can be real challenges. If you’re like me, your biggest battles probably have to do with something closer to home, something closer to the heart. Your biggest battles take place inside you. They're conflicts that no one else can see. And they probably all revolve around one thing, one issue. Almost all of us have some soft spot, some point of vulnerability, which trips us up over and over again. Our genes, our upbringing, and our choices have left us with a predisposition toward some habit, perhaps an addiction. Maybe it's anger. You wonder why you keep blowing up every time you feel pressured. Maybe it's resentment. You just can’t stop obssessing over that wrong done to you. Maybe it's sexually inappropriate behavior. You wonder why you keep falling for the same old temptation; it always gets you. If we're honest with ourselves, I believe we'll realize that our biggest battles are all waged at this same spot of weakness. And one of our biggest challenges in life is to deal successfully with this weakness. Today I want to show you how to start winning your biggest struggles, overcoming bad habits. Wouldn't that be nice! Instead of always finding yourself on the defensive, wouldn't it be nice to go on the offense for a change? Instead of being overwhelmed, wouldn't it be nice to overwhelm? That's exactly what we're going to learn to do. Each of us can move from a defensive position – ducking our heads all the time, to an offensive position – moving confidently forward. The New Testament emphasizes the fact that we're all in a spiritual conflict; Paul tells us we're struggling with "principalities and powers," and he uses several illustrations from military conflict: wielding the Word of God as a two-edged sword, holding up the shield of faith. So, to get an offensive strategy clearly in your heads, I'd like you to think about two recent conflicts: the Vietnam War and the Gulf War. Vietnam and Desert Storm. Two very different conflicts, very different strategies, very different outcomes. Now whatever you think about the political and moral issues involved in these two wars, I think we can all agree on which one the American military will use as an example of good strategy. The American effort in Vietnam bogged down and dragged on year after year – with no light at the end of the tunnel. Desert Storm was completed in four days. Why? What made the difference? Let me suggest this. In Desert Storm, American commanders decided ahead of time, exactly what their objective was: to drive Sadam Hussein's troops out of Kuwait, which he had just invaded. In Vietnam, the Americans had a much more difficult time focusing on a clear objective. Even more importantly, the will of the American people was very divided. This brings us to our first principle. The first step in winning your biggest battles is to decide ahead of time that you really want to win. What this means is that you have to Exercise willpower AHEAD OF TIME. Let me explain. Usually we don't think of exercising what we call "willpower" until we're in the thick of battle – when we're about to be overwhelmed by some temptation. Let's say you're struggling with your temper; your big battle involves blowing up at the kids. When do you usually think about exercising your will? Isn't it when you've already worked yourself into a frayed knot after a bad day at the office, you've already yelled at other drivers on the freeway, you've already fumed inside about everybody being on your case, then you find Johnny's bike in the driveway and are just about to really explode... Yes it's only then that you remember your resolve to be patient. But of course by then your anger has all the momentum. We don't think about "willpower" until we're all but overpowered. That's why it fails us so often. An essayist once wrote, "Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog." Our bad habit often behaves very much like someone else's dog, doesn't it? I tell it to go away and it jumps in my lap. What to do? Change your strategy. We do need to exercise our wills in the heat of spiritual battle. But it's infinitely better to pray for willpower early than yell for it late. Our will is put to best use at the beginning, as we start the day. That's when you can exercise your resolve in a positive way. That's when you can say: "Lord give me Your patience, Your peace. Keep me cool even when things start heating up." In this way you're joining forces with God in aiming at a clear objective. If the temptation is already in your face when you try to exercise your will, you'll find yourself just firing blindly as you step backwards, as you retreat. In exercising our willpower ahead of time, we can take a cue from a Hebrew named Daniel. This young man who stood tall in the courts of Babylon when he was pressured to give up his principles. Daniel 1:8 tells us: Daniel decided ahead of time. He resolved in his heart that he wasn't going to give in. What's the best strategy for exercising willpower? Pray for it early, don't just yell for it late. Now let's take another principle that will help us adopt an offensive strategy when it comes to habits. It’s this: Avoid whatever TRIGGERS the habit. Here’s what I mean. When you find yourself falling into the same problem over and over again, look around at the terrain. It often helps to look carefully at exactly what leads up to the behavior you're trying to get rid of. Take a good look at when, where and how you fall into that chronic sin. You may discover certain "cues" that frequently precede your problem behavior and seem to trigger it. Do you find yourself talking trash about your friends behind their backs? Maybe insecurity is triggering that. When do you feel most insecure and threatened? That probably precedes you running down other people. Do you have a problem with obsessive sexual fantasies? Watching certain TV shows or videos can often trigger that problem. Try to step back and look at the larger picture; look at the terrain. Are outbursts of anger at home related to stress at the office? Do you usually find yourself overdosing on worry at certain times of the month when the bills come due? The New Testament advises us to "leave no loophole for the devil" and to "make no provision for the flesh." (Ephesians 4:27, Romans 13:14) In other words, we have to know the terrain in order to avoid ambush. We have to avoid certain things that trigger transgression. If certain types of movies pave the way for adulterous fantasies then they have to go. If you struggle with overeating, then the street lined with pastry shops is the wrong place to go for a walk. We have to recognize certain terrain as the enemy's ground. It pre-sells us on the habit. Seeing danger from a distance is the only way to avoid ambush. Any fool can acknowledge danger when it stares him in the face, but then it's usually too late. And sometimes of course we want it to stare us in the face. We're like the boy who wanted badly to go for a swim in a pond on the way to a ball park. But his mother said, "No." He was not to swim alone. A little later when she caught him walking out the door with his bathing suit in his hand, she demanded an explanation. The boy mumbled, "Well, I decided to take it along just in case I get tempted." Don't do the enemy of your soul any favors. Don't help him knock you down again by wandering into terrain where you can be ambushed. You've got to stay on solid ground in order to win your biggest battles. Let’s look at one more way we can get on the offensive when it comes to unhealthy habits. And this may be the most important step of all: REPLACE a bad habit with something better. We need something positive to aim at, not just something negative toavoid. Think of the kid who's just learning to ride a bike and is trying his best to go in a straight line. Often he'll glare resolutely at the bushes along the sidewalk he's determined to avoid – and end up wobbling right into them. So, let’s say you’re trying to overcome inappropriate anger, lashing out at people. Don’t just aim at anger. Fix your gaze on exactly where you want to go – the more specific the goal the better. Aim at building people up. Aim at encouraging words. Aim at patient forbearance. So please remember. Exercise willpower – ahead of time. Pray for it early; don’t yell for it late. Avoid whatever triggers the habit. And remember, the best way to deal with a bad habit is to replace it with something better. LONNIE: The bottom line, I think, is to believe that God does have something better. In a sense we’ve got to make God bigger than the habit. He’s got to be bigger in our minds. JEANNIE: And that’s exactly what our homework assignment pictures for us. LONNIE: Yes, the story in 2 Chronicles 20. Did you read that? JEANNIE: What an amazing example of making God bigger than the problem, bigger than a huge invading army. LONNIE: 2 Chronicles 20 tells us about a time when King Jehoshaphat faced an invasion by the armies of Moab and Ammon. The Israelite forces were vastly outnumbered. Jerusalem seemed doom. But the Hebrews were directed to counterattack in a most unusual way. Look at verse 21: “... Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army...” 2 Chronicles 20:21 NIV Imagine that. Going into battle – led by a choir! What were the Israelites doing? They were making the God of Heaven bigger than the enemy. They were asking Him to fight for them. And that’s exactly what happened. Look at the next verse, verse 22. There it says that God set ambushes against the invading army. They began fighting each other – and were soundly defeated. Do you realize how much you have on your side as you face your greatest battles? The prophet Zephaniah assures us: During the Revolutionary War a lone American minuteman came upon a small party of Hessians in the woods foraging for food. The Hessians were professional mercenaries hired by the British. The American soldier noticed that they'd laid aside their weapons. Moving noiselessly over the forest floor he gathered up their arms and then, pointing his musket at the men, commanded them to halt. They were shocked into submission. Making loud threats, the American soldier managed to drive them back to camp. His entrance caused a great deal of amazement and several officers brought him before General Washington himself. "How did you round up these enemy troops single-handedly?" Washington asked. The minuteman scratched his head a moment, and then replied, "Well, general, I surrounded them." With God at your side – you have the bad habit surrounded. So call out to Him. Place your faith in Him. In our weakest moments, He can be the difference between life and death. Do you ever feel lonely and discouraged in your struggle against the same old weakness, the same old habit? Do you ever feel like you're out-matched, out-gunned, overwhelmed. Please remember who is on your side. It might seem that the evil forces around you and inside you are like professional mercenaries, much more adept at fighting. But always remember that with God's arsenal you do have them quite surrounded. God is on your side! The Spirit who strengthens you with power in the inner man is on your side! The angels of heaven are on your side! The Word of God is on your side! You can win the most important battles in your life – by using God's strategy, plugging into His resources. You don't have to be a victim; you don't have to be a sitting duck. You can become a joyful, growing child of God, confident that the Almighty God of Heaven is fighting on your side. Let's commit ourselves to wage the good fight of faith now as we pray. Dear Father, thank You for giving us a way to fight back. Thank You for giving us a way to be successful. Help us now to be able to win our battles, by exercising our willpower ahead of time, by avoiding ambush on the enemy's terrain, and by replacing the bad habit with something better. Thank You that You forgive our weaknesses, and accept us as we struggle. Help us now to move forward in Jesus Name, amen. JEANNIE: As our homework assignment for next week we’d like you to look at a picture in the book of Revelation, a symbolic picture of “The Scarlet Woman.” LONNIE: You’ll find it in Revelation 17:1-6. We’d like you to read this passage and think about what it represents, what kind of false religious system is being described here. JEANNIE: Lonnie will be talking about Satan’s end-time deceptions in our next program. And this figure in Revelation 17 gives us some important clues. JEANNIE: So remember, Revelation 17:1-6 for next week. Until then, God bless you. Never stop Exploring the Word. And remember, God really does love you.
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